Sunday, February 5, 2012

Argh, blogger

I don't know why, but I am having serious issues leaving comments on blogs today.  I've finally got an afternoon napping baby (in his crib! not my arms!) and I went to go pay so many of you visits and check in and blogger keeps eating my comments.  Argh.  So frustrating.

I'm thinking of all of you - so happy to see so many rainbow pregnancies progressing along so beautifully...and the babies that have been born recently as well - gorgeous.  And to those who are currently TTC - all my best wishes that this is the month.  And to everyone else as well - love and light to all of you.


We're doing pretty well here.  Not really sleeping, still fussing, but getting the hang of it pretty well.  We had some serious marital stuff hit the fan a few weeks ago but we are bouncing back fairly well I think. (I hope.)  E is back in school full time.  I am interviewing for a new job.  I am NOT ready for a new job, but I need to pursue this one because it's pretty ideal.  I'm at stage 2 of the interview process right now (of three stages) and it's gone pretty well.  I'm hoping it will even be a job that has an option for transitioning slowly to full time, and also with a work at home component (it seems likely it will, but directing your good juju in that direction would be appreciated!)

I love my boys so incredibly much, it amazes me daily.   A few nights ago I was tearing up just thinking how incredibly lucky I am to know love like the love I have for my family.  For Otis, for Owen, for E, for our dogs, for my mom, who has become a semi-permanent fixture here and an incredible support, and Owen's favorite person besides Mama and Papa.

Last year on Superbowl Sunday, we were in Maui, and I took a pregnancy test (I was *maybe* 8 dpo?).  It was a barely visible line, really almost invisible, to the point that E said "there's no line," and I believed him, but I also didn't believe him....and I carried that test with me all day and held it up to the light and compared it to plain white paper and saw lines and didn't see lines...and then when the Packers won the game, E looked at me and said, "NOW I believe you're pregnant!" and we sort of did let ourselves believe it might be true, and then there was the most amazing sunset I've ever witnessed, and we definitely thought it was a sign, but then the test the next day didn't look any more positive, so we decided I wasn't...and now, here we are, our four month old napping in his crib.  Owen Kekoa, I love you so much.


Brooke said...

I love your Super Bowl memory!

The grief is big, but the love, it is bigger.

Anonymous said...

OMG I just posted about this too!!! WTH is up with blogger!!!? It is SO annoying!
I completely understand the marriage stuff. When C1 was born we hit a really bad patch a few months after. I have friends who have also done the same. I think it comes with adjusting to parenting a living child, lack of sleep, shifting priorities, etc. I just want you both to know that you are NOT alone. Keep on keepin' on and try your very hardest to move forward- it sounds like you already are.. xo!
As to your little boys- amazing how one year can look so different isn't it? Joy and grief now balancing on the same delicate feather. xo

Paula said...

I am having a hard time with comments also. Some blogs I have never been able to comment on and some it is hit or miss. Love hate relationship with blogging.

What a way to celebrate Superbowl, with your little one sleeping peacefully near you. So glad that you have found your joy again, loving your Owen while holding Otis close in your heart.

Hanen said...

Oh, sending you all the good job juju I can muster. And glad to hear the marital stuff is easing too - it's pretty normal when you've got serious baby / grief / job / career stuff happening for your relationship to need a bit of extra work in order to cope.

And thanks so much for your beautiful story about those barely visible little lines - gives me faith that sometimes, miraculously, they can turn into a living baby!

Renel said...

Oh how fun...that super bowl story. I didn't know Owen's middle name was kekoa, or maybe I did and I forgot but I love it. I am sending all kinds of positive career vibes to you. Sounds like you've got it in the far as the marital stuff goes...that comes and goes with all marriages...throw in some, grief, no sleep, a new baby and career changes and you're sure to rip a couple heads off here and there. Light and love your way.

Hope's Mama said...

Lovely to get an update from you, dear Sarah.

still life angie said...

So glad for the update. Sending love, as always.