I miss you more than ever these wintery days, these cold nights. We have our christmas tree up in the bedroom where your photograph normally sits, so tonight as I moved your photograph to a different place, I stopped, and looked closely. I looked at your eyelashes, your eyebrows, your lips, your nose. The fuzz on your face. Your pudgy perfect fingers. I caressed the photograph, trying my damnedest yet again to cuddle you and not just your image. I stroked the photo, wishing it was your cheeks I was stroking instead. I remember the way my heart swelled with love the moment I saw you, Otis. It still sometimes catches me by surprise, how the wind can just be totally and completely taken out of my sails, in one brief blink of an eye like it was tonight.
My beautiful boy, I miss you so much. I love you forever and ever, to the moon and back.