Sunday, January 2, 2011


Hey all

I took down my blessing for 2011 because I got some strange google hits from it and since it was my status as well I got a little nervous that all of a sudden it made me enormously easily traceable and while I don't *really* mind being found here I also don't really want to make it easy for "real life" people to get to me here.

Note to people reading now: if I know you in my everyday or facebook life and I am not already aware that you're reading here, please fess up. Please? I probably am not likely to ask you to stop reading, especially if you're finding it somehow helpful to read here, but I'd really like to know.

So I'm doing okay. (And every time I write that, I find myself the next day on the floor sobbing uncontrollably for hours. Can we skip that this time, please?)

Counting the days (hours?) until my appointment with the endocrinologist on Tuesday. Hormones continue to baffle me. Trying not to get my hopes up that I'm having a semi-normal cycle right now but it is so far appearing that way. Oh please oh please oh please. Even if I don't get pregnant yet (yes I am not being careful and yes I am hoping that if I can I will) I am hoping hoping hoping that at the very least I am once again ovulating and having a somewhat longer regular luteal phase. Please.

We leave for Maui in 26 days.

I miss my baby boy.

That is all for now.


Anonymous said...

Love to you mamma.. and a big long email that will be in your box in 5 minutes...

æ said...

i am hoping right along here with you. so much love sarah.

also i was thinking how that quote, having it here especially, felt so You. a special blend of youness.


Tess said...

Sarah, I hope todays/yesterdays 'okay' day is not the precursor for a bad day now - I hope that the RE appointment holds more hope for you to fight off the floor sobbing (said in the nicest way possible : )

I have my fingers and toes crossed for a compassionate and kind doctor that will bend backwards to accommodate you and will do the best by you and your body - I look forward to a renewed sense of hope for you.

Much love and strength for Tuesday

zubeldia said...

everything crossed for Tuesday, too, Sarahlu. I've come to have a new respect for hormones over the years, realizing how out of tune they can be become and the havoc that can cause. But equally, I have been amazed by how they can be manipulated and tweaked.

Maui sounds wonderful, my friend. It's a good way to begin the

kate said...

hoping with all my heart...


hayley said...

fingers and toes crossed that there's good news for you tomorrow and healing hormonal vibes sent to your body.

triple love


Monique said...

Sarah, I'm hoping your appointment goes well tomorrow. I think it's good you're going away - my husband and I went away two times to a nice warm place after our son died - it was healing to float in the ocean and be warm and think about my son. Keeping everything crossed for you tomorrow.

Sophia said...

Thinking of you Sarah. Fingers crossed for your results today. Sending you spare fragments of peace.

Sarah said...

Fingers crossed for you today. Much love to you, my friend.


brianna said...

Wishing you good luck for your appointment.

Hope's Mama said...

Maui - how perfect. We went six months after we lost Hope. I hope you find much peace and healing there.
Happy New Year, my friend. I really, really hope 2011 does bring the happy back.